Where’s the party tonight

Introverts are often accused of being misanthropic, that is, they do not like people. And they like parties even less. I had an experience yesterday that is a living example of this being untrue. I went to (and enjoyed) a party. It would be an innocuous enough statement if not coming from an introvert. This was an ideal situation for an introvert though. I will explain how –
1. I was told a few days in advance so I had the time to prepare myself mentally. I kept other social activities to a minimum before and after this one and so was up to a little socializing.
2. There was no loud music or too much of a crowd or shiny disco lights in the middle of a darkened room… you get the picture, it was a gathering, not exactly a loud, raucous party.
3. I didn’t have to socialize with strangers. The people were mostly friends or acquaintances, and yes!!! I was even able to make small talk with the acquaintances I didn’t know very well. #win
I think the kind of people present play a very important role. The people here weren’t just party hopping, looking for a good time kind of people. These were people who I could have good conversations with – even if it was just small talk.
4. There was no overcrowding. Even though this was a cozy, little gathering there was space to move, to breathe and not crash into someone showing off their dancing skills.
I never thought I’d say this, but this was one party I wish I didn’t have to leave…

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3 thoughts on “Where’s the party tonight

  1. I love parties, or more appropriately gatherings, like that myself. Where you just get together with friends and acquaintances and enjoy conversation and have a good time. No loud music, no flashing lights, and no raucous dancing. I was never into the whole college party scene…too many people, and when they start getting drunk and smashing into you, it’s not all that fun.

    You’re right about it being the kind of people at a party that make it worthwhile or not. The gatherings I’ve been to have been with mostly people I know and they are easy to talk to and have fun with. On the other hand, my sister (your typical loud, party-hopping 19-year-old) goes to ones with all the loud music and dancing and I tend to stay away from those.

    Anyway, glad you had a good time!

  2. Good job, Aastha! My wife and I have learned, that when we go to social events, usually family things, we are late to arrive and early to leave. Helps to make the experience enjoyable for us two strong introverts. Our family/friends feel loved by us, we enjoy them, but our social footprint is really fairly small. Ahhhh. šŸ™‚

  3. Reading this blog reminds me about something I read – that introverts have a very narrow comfort zone – too much outside stimulation and we’re left feeling anxious, and on the other hand, not enough time to reflect on what is going on, and we lose our sense of calm. This can explain why sometimes parties, groups, meetings etc are ok and other times they are not. For example, I don’t mind loud music sometimes – at home alone, at the gym working out alone, but I can’t stand loud music in a social context – way too much over-stimulation!

    It seems your party was within your comfort zone as you had just the right amount of stimulation. However, it might only have taken one of the factors you mention (eg suddenly a lot of people arrive at once and you feel hemmed in) to take you right out of that zone.

    Extraverts can often think that an introvert is overreacting to a situation because they don’t understand this small comfort zone we live in. To them our behaviour may seem irrational or even out of character as it outside their realm of experience.

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